Learning to let go: a memory from my meditation practice
Names in this article are pen names.
I had spent years practising yoga before I began exploring meditation as a practice in its own right. Somehow, I had got very far into the physical practice without quite recognising the meditation within it. I stumbled on apps on my phone and came across teachers whose approach to meditation resonated with me.
The definition that stayed with me was simple.
Concentrate.
For me, that meant bringing my attention to one sensation at a time: a sound, a feeling on my skin, or the sensation of my breath. How long could I hold my attention on that one thing?
My mind wandered rather quickly. The best part? Wandering minds are okay. You are not doing it wrong. Returning your attention takes practice.
The hour I remember
I can so vividly remember one of the first times I was able to stay with my meditation for a prolonged period. I was in a meditation group, and we were sitting for an hour. That hour felt like an eternity. Part of me was resistant to sitting at all. I worried that I would be bored, itchy, uncomfortable, or even scared.
Then something happened: I relaxed. I accepted that this was something I wanted to experience. I began putting down the expectations I had brought with me.
That was key for me. I think we can come to meditation with an idea of what it should feel like. This particular experience of peace arrived when I stopped demanding a particular experience.
A basket by the river
When I was teaching yoga, I used an image at the start of class. I would invite people to imagine themselves beside a river:
Imagine the grass and the flowers, the trees, the sounds of the river and the chirping of birds. Let yourself be next to the river in the position you hold within your body now. You notice a basket beside you. Allow yourself to start filling it with your current thoughts—everything you do not wish to hold at this moment. Observe yourself picking up the basket and going down to the river. Place the basket in the water and sit back down on the bank. Watch as it gently floats away with the natural flow of the river.
I would then leave my students with that image for a few breaths before we started our practice.
I told myself this story during that group meditation. Then I returned to watching my breath. For that particular hour, I found I could sit comfortably, and I did not want to rush away.
Every sitting is different
All the hours I sat after that were not quite as magical. Some days were tougher than others. I remember that experience with affection, but I do not use it as a standard every meditation has to meet.
I hope some of these words resonate with you. If not, I encourage you to read other people’s experiences and find an approach or a person you connect with. I send you all the love I have to give. Namaste.
A moment to put expectations down
If the river image speaks to you, try bringing just one expectation to the basket: perhaps the idea that this sitting has to be peaceful, or that your thoughts need to disappear. Find a position you can rest in comfortably and imagine setting that expectation on the water.
Allow yourself to melt into this moment. Surrender to the moment as it is. Stay for a few breaths, noticing a sound or the contact of your body with the chair or floor. If the same thought returns, you can notice it again. The basket does not have to stay empty.
Return tomorrow, with a little guidance
You do not need an hour-long sitting to explore this. You might choose a familiar moment tomorrow—after making tea, for example—to sit briefly and return to the river image. If you would like a practical introduction, our free How to start meditating guide includes a two-minute exercise.
You don’t have to figure it out alone. Let le flo guide you through a daily practice, one day at a time. Its 30-day program brings together intention, breathing, movement, and meditation, with spoken guidance and adjustable practice time.
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This essay and the beginner guide are free to read. The guided 30-day program is a separate, paid membership; you can see the membership options at the link above.